Ready, RESET, Go!

Here’s another amazing epiphany from one of my clients:

I was 27 years old before I admitted that I was unhappy, and that my unhappiness was largely due in fact to my being large. I was living in a body that made me unhappy, and I was regularly overeating to soothe those negative emotions. As long as I continued that behavior, I guaranteed my own silent misery. After medical scares and romantic disappointments, I finally decided that I was no longer willing to avoid helping myself, and that no one else was capable of saving me.
I contacted Ellen Resnick and began working with her and The Beck Diet Plan. Over the next year I went through a powerful transformation. It was a transformation of thought, of behavior, and of presence. The most noticeable difference for the outside world has been my change in physical presence, but the most powerful transformation for me has been the new mental presence I possess. I used to believe that I ate without thinking. Six weeks into my fitness plan I told Ellen, my therapist, that I did not eat to comfort myself when I was feeling stress. Three weeks after that I received a stressful email from a coworker, and immediately turned to my box of granola for a snack. As I reached for the box I had a revelation. I wasn’t hungry. And that granola wasn’t on my meal plan for the day. I was reaching for it as a direct result of the onset of work stress. I was dumbfounded at this discovery and wondered how many other “hidden” thoughts had led me to unhealthy behavior in the past.
This realization reinforced my need to continue with the healthy behaviors I was adding to my routine (the ones that became default over my previously unhealthy habits.) I continued to make my meal plans in advance, track my caloric intake, and increase my activity levels. But more than 18 months and 68 lost pounds into my efforts I hit one of the biggest roadblocks to my weight loss plan. And the most frustrating part about that roadblock was that it wasn’t just one “thing” that was making it harder for me to stick to my health plan. Simply put, I was in a funk. For the first time in 18 months I saw the scale go up slightly, and then up again. I had difficulty pinpointing the cause of my funk, which in turn made it more challenging to address the issue and correct course. But unlike every other diet I attempted in the past, I did not falter in my efforts to continue on my journey. Many times in the past I had let myself be permanently derailed. This time I knew that I possessed all the tools to turn things around and that it was worth it to persevere.
I had serious powwows with myself, with my diet coach, and with Ellen. I admitted that I felt great (especially compared to 52 pounds heavier.) But I also knew what 16 pounds lighter felt like. And I wanted to be back there, and even take off another 30 after that. Yes, it is scary; yes, I want to be done. But I’m not done, and in fact I never will be “done.” These are life changes I have instituted, and continuing until I reach my goal weight is a challenge that I know I am capable of completing.
I’m now in “RESET” mode. This mantra is reinforcing that I am back in the habit of flexing my “resistance muscle”. For many years I subscribed to a vicious combination of unhappy emotions paired with harmful ways of comforting myself. Now I’ve learned that instead of letting momentum flow between these negative influences, I can instead put energy into resisting temptation. And every single time I successfully flex this resistance muscle, it gets stronger.
I haven’t been able to do this RESET all on my own. My diet coach and best friend has been instrumental in my efforts. She currently texts me the word “RESET” at random points throughout the day. And she’s committed to shaking up her fitness efforts alongside with me. Being accountable to her, as well as to myself, has also been helpful. I’m ten times less likely to eat a cookie after I shoot a quick email to my coach stating “Danger – tempting cookies in the kitchen! They look great but I won’t be eating any of them.” I acknowledge the challenge, make myself accountable for how I handle the challenge, and let others know about this accountability. All of these systems have helped to refocus my energy.
18 months ago I would have believed that gaining back 16 pounds equaled failure. Now I know better, and I know how very worthwhile it is to persevere. I’m going to continue flexing my resistance muscle until it’s the most toned of them all.

Are you pushing RESET?

A special thank you to Kate for sharing her awesome journey. You are an inspiration to the many lives that you touch!

Note: This week the American Diabetes Association is raising money for research through The Step Out walk. Ellen is walking on 10/1/10 to honor her friends, family and clients with diabetes. If you’d like to find out more please click the following link http://main.diabetes.org/site/TR/StepOut/SanFranciscoArea?px=6140016&pg=personal&fr_id=7346

Ellen is a psychotherapist in private practice in San Francisco and Redwood City, California. She specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and incorporates the use of mindfulness into the treatment of depression, anxiety, and emotional overeating. She runs a holistic weight loss program called Center for Thoughtful Weight Loss, www.thoughtfulweightloss.com. You can email Ellen at ellen@thoughtfulweightloss.com
copyright © 2010 Ellen N. Resnick, LCSW