It didn’t make anything any better

I think this is one of those “duh” statements that is worth discussing.
A client came in last week saying she and her husband had a big fight a few weeks before. After hearing the details, I asked if her food choices had been affected by the anger she felt towards her husband. Somewhat disappointed in herself she said “yes and it didn’t make anything better.”
Why do we think feeding our sorrow will be helpful?
We’ve all done it so many times before with the same result- shame and guilt that we knew better, and yet behaved in a way that made us feel worse about ourselves AND didn’t do anything to mend the real issue.
Not only doesn’t the food make anything better, you probably feel worse physically after eating the so called comfort food–sugar high and crash, and the too-full bloated feeling.
It helps to remind yourself that your body feels worse after eating comfort food (not just your guilty mind) than it did while you were eating it.
Learning to self soothe without food is crucial for long term weight loss. Some options might have been:

• Acknowledging it’s human to have disagreements, and try to focus on
  all of the things she’s grateful for in her relationship, and in her
  life;
• Noticing her feelings and reminding herself she’s felt this way
  before and gotten beyond it;
• Calling a friend to talk;
• Journaling;
• Going for a walk;
• Watching a movie to distract;
• Making a repair effort with her husband (ie “I’m sorry we fought- want to play cards?) even if she thought he was wrong-just because it feels better to be connected than not.

Wouldn’t you rather feed your heart than your thighs?
Ellen is a psychotherapist in private practice in San Francisco and Redwood City, California. She specializes in Cognitive Behavioral
Therapy and incorporates the use of mindfulness into the treatment of depression, anxiety, and emotional overeating. She runs a holistic weight loss program called Center for Thoughtful Weight Loss, www.thoughtfulweightloss.com. You can email Ellen at ellen@thoughtfulweightloss.com

“I’m so tired, what can I eat”?

Ever feel so bone tired you can’t even fathom standing up to make dinner?
That happens to many of us these days with work-life balance being not so balanced. Knowing that, we need to be prepared for those days instead of being surprised by them, and sabotaging our weight loss efforts as a result.
Why not have a few different options always available to you for that kind of day?
Keep a list in your planner that says “tired day meals.”
Here are a few ideas:

• Healthy take out from a store on your way home. Identify what you’ll get before you go inside, i.e., broiled salmon and a seaweed salad. Only buy what you need so you can go through the express line;
• Make poached eggs on whole wheat toast (that’s my go-to) or your variety of a 5-10 minute healthy meal. For some it could be a low calorie frozen entree;
• When you do have time, like on weekends, you can cook up a big batch of something to thaw or heat up on tired days. I regularly bake up some skinless chicken and have it with steamed veggies or a microwaved sweet potato for a couple of days’ worth of meals (can also put them in salads).
• Or I can do what I call “industrial-strength cooking” when I do have the time, and freeze individual portions of more creative healthy meals like hearty soups, or chicken dishes from Cooking Light.
• Identify 3 restaurants on the way home that have healthy options and are quick and/or relaxing. Identify what you’ll have by looking at the website ahead of time. Those last minute “I’m tired decisions” can be costly to your calorie count for the day. Keep the phone numbers programmed in your phone so it’s right at your finger tips. The less thinking you have to do, the better in this tired state;
• Order in from the restaurants that offer healthy options. Only keep the coupons around for delivery options that meet your weight loss needs.

Don’t forget to assess if you are tired or hungry. If you’re tired,
the best thing on the menu is some ZZZZZ’s.

Ellen is a psychotherapist in private practice in San Francisco and Redwood City, California. She specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and incorporates the use of mindfulness into the treatment of depression, anxiety, and emotional overeating. She runs a holistic weight loss program called Center for Thoughtful Weight Loss, www.thoughtfulweightloss.com. You can email Ellen at ellen@thoughtfulweightloss.com

If It’s Not Good, Why Eat It?

Hard to believe, but Ben and Jerry’s can teach us an important weight loss tip.

Do you ask yourself “is it worth it” before deciding to eat something? If you follow this simple tip, two things will happen:

(1) you’ll love what you eat, and
(2) you’ll eat less!

Some of you may be thinking “yeah, but I eat too much of the things I love.”

If that’s true:

• You might be operating on the thought “I may not get to have this again soon”;
• You may not be savoring every bite;
• You might not notice that the fifth bite is not as splendid as the first four;
• You may be eating to soothe a feeling (which is only a very temporary fix for this problem; anxiety for instance, responds much better to calming breaths than a milkshake– really…try it sometime);
• Maybe you were raised to clean your plate. Now it’s time to make your own decisions. Do I like this enough to finish it?

Dessert rules. If you take a bite and you don’t love it…toss it. Be willing to waste food. Judith Beck, author of Learn to think Like a Thin Person says ‘it’s wasted on your hips or in the garbage”. Gotta love this tip…enjoy!

Ellen is a psychotherapist in private practice in San Francisco and
Redwood City, California. She specializes in Cognitive Behavioral
Therapy and incorporates the use of mindfulness into the treatment of
depression, anxiety, and emotional overeating. She runs a holistic
weight loss program called Center for Thoughtful Weight Loss,
www.thoughtfulweightloss.com

You can email Ellen at ellen@thoughtfulweightloss.com